Lyric Inspired Shorts (LIS) #3

 

“Tell me son when I grow old will you buy me a house of gold”

That’s how it will start….this letter and task to keep his mind and hands busy; to stop him from trying to clutch on to what he lost when the Spring buds got overshadowed by sunflowers.

I continue… more detail as thick as oil to get his tear rusted clogs turning again.

that glistens in summer rain, like diamonds so I sparkle again; no use of actual diamonds or glitter from your sisters craft box… use something from your box. 

His box of paper bound, sepia photographs, bottle tops and buttons. I know nothing of his shines like his sisters, isn’t as bright and nothing of his could stand a fight against his siblings stash. She is a magpie and he is an owl, wise beyond his years and still trying to grow in to his ears.

all that glitters isn’t gold and vis versa.

I’ll give him til summers end

You have til that last sunrise of summer.. the new beginning when September puts your laughter in the playground instead of home. 

I’ll ask this when things are starting to look shifty, unstable before the wobble and when games no longer hold interest on rainy days like Boggle.

I’m still not sure how to finish….

 

 

Change & Keep

“Every little imperfection only makes you… you”

It’s fine if you want to change them, that’s your prerogative and as it’s always said “There is always room for improvement”

But please don’t change so much you are unrecognisable.

Keep the quirks that you try to hide but escape like fireworks every time you get excited.

Keep the scars… they show you survived.

Keep those eyes, i’d be lost if I couldn’t loose myself in them.

I should stop…

I should stop counting the days until you appear.

I should stop hoping you are around every corner, in every car I follow and pass on the way to work.

You’ll get here when you are ready, when the time is right or you just get fed up of  making me wait.

Til then i’ll fill my days with endless weirdness, laughter and smiles so when you finally show up I have days, weeks and years worth of accident prone anecdotes, laughter in the stupid things i’ve laughed about with friends and random useless information that will make you smile even if it is followed by stunned silence… then belly laughs.

I can’t wait to sit in comfortable quiet with you.

I should stop telling you to hurry up cause lets be honest telling someone to get a move on always has the opposite effect.

Lyric Inspired Shorts (LIS) #2

“I’m hopefully hopeful, you’re just hopeless enough”

Always wanting to crack you, skin the colour of egg shells but not as frail… more like concrete, bricks and titanium. I’m an open book, emotions fly out of me like i’m an airport in the summer, jetting off to your sunshine smile and ski slope sweetness.

You manage to ring me dry of bad moods, sadness and panic that leaks out of me blue, black, pink… top me back up with green, yellow and a wink.

I wish I could do what you do… soft kisses so warm that they make butterflies swarm.

I lied by the way, there is more than one of those flutterbugs in my belly and they never stop moving even when we are just watching telly.

Why can’t I just crack you already, break you down, open you up?

I can’t even find your cup to fill in the first place, just a cheeky smile and hand on my waist, always solving my case.

You tell me i’m the one, drop hints like hot potatoes and somehow I know you aren’t lying. You are so hopeless but…

…somehow I keep trying.

Moment Of Mental Blockage

Just a quick moment of mental blockage I had this morning that may just deserve a laugh….

This morning I set my mug up in the work kitchen, put the kettle on to boil and went to fill my water bottle up cause I’m all about that hydration stuff.

Kettle boiled, went back, picked up mug and brought it back to my desk… all sounding good so far.

5 minutes later I realise there is something missing …

Emma you twat you forgot to put water in!

Well I guess it’s progress… not the kettle this time.

image

Laters Taters

Em x

Bank Holiday Waunderings

 

I thought it time and long over due that my camera (Penfold) be taken on a joly for the first time since early Feb.

This afternoon we found ourselves and a slimming world buddy at a quiet little place ‘Westonbury Mill Water Gardens’. The sun shone, air stayed warm and body stayed upright most of the time.

I forgot how calm I am with my camera in hand, leaves swaying and the colour green hitting me from every angle,

Here are just a few snaps from the day.

 

Laters Taters

Emx

Diving in to my Drafts

Why am I always the one being saved?

I hate feeling low, weak and continuously needing to be picked back up.

It’s like my optimism will only last for so long or come around when someone else needs it… I want my fucking spark back… like now.

I hate the uncertainty of whether something is going somewhere or not.. we haven’t even had our first date and I already feel in over my head… what if it doesn’t work out… do I want to fall that fast and come crashing down to reality with no one to catch me.

Lily came crashing down but that was worse… so why the hell am I complaining?

He chose you… enjoy that feeling you muppet.

So what if he is busy, he is going to Brazil in a few days… he has things to do.

He wants you to be happy, comfortable and by the sounds of it his.

I’m over thinking and over complicating things… nothing new there.

 

Well you can all guess where this went and in all honestly I am on the fence whether I want to ever let myself fall like that again, yes I did enjoy the feeling of as Tom Petty put it ‘Free Fallin’ but as any human who has hit the ground I still have my reservations,  my guard is up and it will stay like that until honesty, genuinely and trust break it down or at least pull out a few bricks and shimmy through the whole.

Emx

He is my Friday

I wished i’d actually believed them when they said “it will happen” but what 14, 18…25 year old without ‘it’ going to do… be a non-believer, because at that moment it’s hard to think it could happen when there is no signs of it going to.

Now I don’t want to hedge my bets but I think, I hope this could be something. It’s so effortless, comfortable and we are just being us, no false pretenses or having too high of a guard up.

I feel like i’m on the edge but safe all the same, brave and sure enough to know I more than likely will be caught if I decide to jump… when I decide to jump … cause there is no if. I don’t like ‘if’s’

Plus lets face it i’m already bouncing on the balls of my feet, readying myself, warming up to dive in head first. Fearless.

He is my Friday.

The day we live for and gravitate to with out any resistance. The wind down day, where home is the main goal through crappy traffic, tractors and dirty winter windscreens.

……

Flash forward two months and it simply wasn’t meant to be.

“Life got in the way” seems to be my go to line when people that don’t know ask about the one that made me shine for those 3 weeks. Life did just happen and there isn’t much you can really do about it, it’s one of those things you can’t change; and someone very wise once told me you should never waste your energy and time on things you can’t change. It’s not productive, not clever and you’ll always come to the same conclusion.

 

“He was just a Friday… you need to find someone who can be your Monday Morning Coffee, Wednesday Weirdness and Sunday Solitude…you need someone to be your whole week not just one day.”

 

Emx

The Art Of Unfinished Creativity

Hey Hiccups,

I have perfected leaving projects unfinished, this post has been sat in my drafts box for a good few months….well 6 or 7 actually.

It may be a family trait as my dad is yet to finish the windows in my old room although it’s just those fiddly bits at the end…..no excuse I know.

“Our films are never truly finished. We just get to stop at our deadline.” – Brad Bird

There are a few uni projects that were finished for a deadline and which I truly believed had a solid conclusion and had ended; but now I don’t think this is the case. As they say there is always room from improvement and growth… growth, I have grown mentally and age wise since I received the hand-in receipts for those assignments; my views and opinions have changed due to experiences… many experiences.

Sometimes I find myself so determined to finish something that I think it needs to be done in a certain time frame, then I go over the top and the whole phrase ‘less is more’ pops in to my head… I should have just left it. Yes I should of and come back to it, nothing ever gets done in one go, like the 100 sit ups I did at lunch time (my stomach still hasn’t forgiven me for those 2 sets of 50)

“I don’t like finished things, because finished is over, dead.” – Norbert Bisky

Do I not want to know what the end piece/product will look like, is that why i don’t finish… ?….maybe, or it could be the creative energy has faded away or it’s just not working so I give up, leave and if I want to go back to it later.

“If you never feel like what you create is truly perfect… that’s fine, it keeps you wanting to create.” – Steven Speilberg (November Time Of The Month)

Nothing is ever finished…like life, because nothing is ever perfect and there is something perfectly beautiful about that.

Laters Taters

Emx

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