An email when the words just flowed 

Dearest Lady,
Ever so sorry I have not written to you in a while, life got away from me but don’t worry I caught it and now it is attached to my wrist so it’s floaty balloon like nature will stay as close to me as my shadow…. I’ve sewn that in place to, cause soap doesn’t work.
I hope you are well over the pond, life is treating you well.
It’s been a crazy couple of weeks for me, well actually months… You see I let myself fall but he alas did not catch me, well not in the way I wanted. But I think I’m ok, picking myself up and hoping my hand me down heart is not going to curse me for dropping it from such a height when I was in a daze for most of June and July’s nights.
To be honest I’ve been a tennis match of emotions, it’s beginning to give me a bad neck and is making my head a bit if a jumble and that’s not what we want… don’t want to just bumble along skipping over every headphone love song.
But I’m not angry either cause I let my imagination run away my optimism and boy did they create some beautiful visions, proper romcom material. Oil and paint covered hands meeting at a sink or the sound when two sets spectacles clink.
I’m moving forward I think, even moved out of the family home to give my feet, legs and eyes somewhere different to roam.
Last night I was content, wine and warm clothes after a thunderstorm, food in my stomach but through that devil that is social media my mind yet again became flummoxed.
I guess this is just life, one of the messy bits.
Maybe one day I’ll find an oil covered hand that catches me and fits.
Lots of love
A twenty something that lets her words get away from her sometimes.
Emx

The Cannons were LOUD!

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Hi Hiccups,

Writing to you from a place where my hangover has not fully surfaced yet… it’s there is though.

Anyway, I ventured to the Civil War Siege in the next village over yesterday:

A- Because I was intrigued and had never been to one before.

B- I needed to get away from packing boxes…

I’ve always had an interest in history and the people that came before, what there lives would have been like. It’s always been the more personal and day to day stuff that has captured me… the emotions, trials and just human life.

The idea of being transported back in time always makes me feel like a kid again.

As kids we were taken to places like Blist Hill, Ironbridge and the Black Country museum, either with school or our grandparents. Some of the best trips, completely engrossed in the bubble past being that I was held in for the day.

When we were stood watching yesterday my mind traveled to one history trip in particular, no surprise it was the year we were looking at the English Civil War. Sat in a semi-circle in a small room, while a tiny lady described how a battle played out. I remember staring out the window ( I do that a lot), there was a large oak tree and in the distance was a hill. I sat trying to listen but I remember my thoughts were stuck on ” but what about the drummer boy, what happened to him?”

I’ve never asked the question out loud and never googled it cause I think I already know the answer but don’t want to see it in actual words…but the phrase ” Lamb to slaughter” comes to mind and that’s as far as I want to take it.

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Continuing the theme of history, after the siege Mother and I headed to the local church as we are currently looking in to family history.. I say currently it has been an ongoing project since I was in college.

As I mentioned I like knowing the personal, daily events of history and how people actually lived.. not sure if it’s just me being nosey or trying to understand them better.  This is where I am currently with our family tree, I have found so many family members, going back to the late 1700’s. Now is the time to pick a name and see who they actually were.

Laters Taters

Emx

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Hi Hiccups,

After work on Friday I ventured down to the ‘diff for an impromptu catch up with Laudy. For 3 and a bit hours we talked, vented, laughed, enjoyed coffee and wandered aimlessly. It was chilled and much needed for both of us.

During our endless chatting something popped up in conversation and struck a chord about how i’ve been focusing my time and energy on over the last month… weirdly it came out of my mouth so no idea why only when i’m reciting the words to someone else do I finally listen to them; I have no baloo.

“It’s the little things that matter”

Now I have always known this… i’ve even written a few blog posts about it *cough* shameless plug *cough*  All The Little Things  Things That Make Me Happy 2014

It got me thinking about all the little things that make me happy. My mind instantly shot to my tumblr.. an endless abyss of images, quotes, music and videos that make me happy. Weirdly it’s me in blog form and I love it so why is it so hard to love the original, physical being that is me… don’t have a scooby but i’ll work on it.

Anyway, what i’m saying is that whenever I feel a tad overwhelmed or just blah, I head to my tumblr and scroll through my page. Now not sure of this sounds slightly egotistical, focusing all my attention on a page mirroring my personality, but it makes me insanely happy, perks me up or just lets a smile escape even if it’s for a minute of stolen time on my phone at work.

A thought came to me that both me and Laudy were in need of those little things, hence the unplanned catch up, but what if someone else was in desperate need of something small to boost them out of the blue and there wasn’t a friend available?

Well… this is where part which I am ever so pleased about, I have created a tumblr blog, nothing huge, really simple. It is going to be filled to the brim with ‘ Little Things’ where people can go and scroll to their hearts content when they need a little boost, a laugh, smile or someone just to vent to.

It’s something I wish I would have had when I was going through a hard time a few years back.

I’ll let you know when it’s up and running, maybe later this evening.

Laters Taters

Emx

Year Through Windows… July

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In true July fashion, the month was a mixture of rain and sun… UK summer #whatyagonnado

There is something so comforting about morning rain hitting the window when you know you don’t have to go out in it if you do not wish… unless you have work… that dampens your spirit a tad.

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This month has flown by, i’m trying to think back to what has happened but only one thing is really coming to mind, something that seemed have overshadowed everything else… but that’s over and done with so let’s see what August has for us shall we.

Laters Taters

Emx

2 weeks ago… left in drafts…title? I don’t know

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Today,

I used my words

He heard

He replied

Not this time

I survived

or at least i’m surviving

I’ll move on to the next boxing ring

I have plenty of other things to fight for

Let down my walls for

It’s time for curtain call on this one

The next one i’ll be ready

I’ll be twice as strong

I just wish my greens didn’t look so sad

that my heart wasn’t cursing me

that my head wasn’t so mad

I guess that’s life right

It does sometimes steal your nights

with thoughts that are pointless

and leaves you wishing you were thought-less

Just being human…

“Now that she’s back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in her hair”

I’ve been daydreaming again…but this time it lasted longer than a few minutes… weeks of my head just being on another planet.

It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t good either.

My mind has been where it shouldn’t have been, I couldn’t concentrate on anything.

Made me lighter on my feet though and nothing but positivity pulsed through my veins.

Those wispy clouds around my head gave me a little spark of hope but it stole my logical mind from me. Well I say stole, maybe borrowed cause it has since been returned to me… in words no less it just came back like it’s footprints had never pointed away from me.

Maybe it hadn’t been taken.. I just misplaced it. Easily done when you life is no longer an organised mess but packed in to boxes and the personality has been taken of your walls. I… have been taken off my walls.

Pinholes of the past uncovered and that idea I had that didn’t work out so it got covered with a map to give myself a little more direction.

and if you did wonder, yes I did dance along the light of day… it felt like that anyway.

I didn’t fall for a shooting star but I did see one and i’m fine with that.. there will be others… he hasn’t gone that far though… he left star dusted words that sit on cloud linings, so even if the days do turn dark… I will always find the glimmer of a spark he left behind.

I can now tell myself and mean it, understand and believe it…

“Pick yourself up and remember that pain is just you being human.”

Year Through Windows… June

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A month of new starts, changes and a few things finally left in the past.

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Early morning traffic #1

  Tywyn 2015

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When packing up your room of 17 years, the windowsill becomes a handy place to store things that don’t fit in to any particular category.

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Lots of time spent staring out the window, partly to clear my head… but the summer sunsets have been particularly on point so far this summer.

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Early morning traffic #2

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The App That Cried Wolf

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Hi Hiccups,

Apps are great aren’t they, bold statement I know, but for someone who grew up in the 90’s and witnessed the sudden incline of technology… they are pretty rad.

Not saying they are all great but the ones that makes life easier to communicate, share and learn are top notch.

I love the creativeness and uniqueness of some apps…the ones that make you laugh so much ” why the hell did they make that?” pure enjoyment.

For example I recently found one that has a multitude of sound effects on it, hours, well maybe 30 minutes of fun when you are ever so slightly drunk, chatting around a garden table; cause the idea of Nicholas Cage saying ‘Winning’ at the right moment in a conversation can be pretty damn funny.

However Hiccups I have found a flaw in one of my most used apps….a little messaging tool created by a social media giant ( you know which one i’m on about but I don’t want to name names so lets just leave it at that)

Anyway.

It’s recently come to my attention that there is now a little call button, which can either be used as just a phone call type of thing or video call. I understand that they need to cover all forms of communication but what’s wrong with just sticking to instant messaging… it works… it ain’t broke. Plus the app is on a phone…you know something that has been used for decades to aid communication.

The amount of accidental button presses and being the recipient of a few mistaken miss calls… what is the point?

This has been discussed in passing comments with the person who kinda gave me the idea for this post… yes not all my ideas stem from my genius.

“Does anyone ever do it on purpose?” Bob Robertson ( he picked that name not me)

This comment made me think about if everyone was so used to just thinking that every time they had a call through this particular app, that it was a mistake; what if they never answered it… ever.

The one day it was actually used on purpose and it just went UN-answered?

What if they needed help and the button was quicker than typing out a message?

While these thoughts and other more extreme reasons why one would need to use that little call button, were running through my head; something else was merging with it… an idea that this app is genuinely ‘Crying Wolf’

Laters Taters

Emx

Sunday Thoughts

Hey Hiccups,

Whenever I feel an urge of excitement or energy an image pops in to my head.. I imagine myself doing some form of gymnastic flip; normally that one when they forward flip with no assistance from their hands. This I now know after much googling is an ‘Aeriel Cartwheel’

I can’t do this particular movement currently and to be honest my cartwheels are lacking any form of skill or precision…. my 7 year old self would be quite ashamed actually.

I have a feeling this may turn in to a goal…’ To perfect handstands & cartwheels’ this summer…

….one step closer to making the image in my head realistic.

Laters Taters

Emx

The Ledge 

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     The 5 second free fall, the wind stealing a scream…

There is always the safety net of starting over, climbing back up to the ledge and remembering that you need to grab the rope this time…

It’s hard sometimes to say you need that harness or that the trapeze bar isn’t that far away, “no problemo”

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